PRAISE FOR HIJAB BUTCH BLUESBY LAMYA H.

Author Lamya H. holds a copy of her memoir, “Hijab Butch Blues”

The Queens Library presents an in-depth live discussion with Lamya H., author of “Hijab Butch Blues” as part of their Literary Thursdays which are free and open to the public, illuminating audiences about their favorite authors and works of literature.

Lamya H. (She/They), is a queer Muslim writer and organizer of creating spaces for LGBTQ+ Muslims defying Islamophobia, and she currently resides in New York City. Their memoir, “Hijab Butch Blues,” written anonymously and then published in February 2023 from Dial Press/ Penguin RandomHouse, explores Lamya’s journey to harmonize her newfound queerness with Quranic faith. Thus, readers traverse the memoir’s universal themes of trust, sexual identity, faith, family, and bravery stretching from Lamya’s childhood to college in the U.S. to her early adult life in New York City.

Furthermore, Lamya’s inspiration for their memoir is from the fictional book, “Stone Butch Blues” by Leslie Feinberg and Audre Lorde’s “Sister Outsider” -a collection of essays and speeches of abused feminist rev-elation, which Lamya read in their early twenties. In a statement, Lamya says that these two novels “talks about identities in ways that are so relevant,” which helped her shape her story.

Things Mag’s contributing writer Charmaine Swasey got the chance to tune in on the discussion, so here are some notable insights:

“CAUGHT IN A MOMENT OF CLARITY”

For their intro, Lamya H. read an excerpt from the first chapter of “Hijab Butch Blues,” characterizing their experience as a teenager in an Islamic high school as being full of angst and the need to disappear as they slowly feel that everything is out of their control, due to the unease of moving from South Asia to the Middle East, as well as tapping into her newfound queerness. For instance, Lamya’s class was reading a passage from the Quran on the Virgin Mary or (Maryam) in Arabic, and they instantly felt “caught in a moment of clarity” by the detail that Maryam had never been with a man, yet she became pregnant with her first child. Thus, this sparked Lamya’s newfound belief in her sexual identity and their interest to interlink their queerness with their Muslimness, declaring that from this scene forward of the memoir, “I wanted to make it unapologetically queer and unapologetically Muslim.”

Additionally, as an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, Lamya states that “the core intention of queerness is fighting for justice to being oneself,” so “there has to be constant questioning of authority,” which she claims is as much an inherent part of queerness as is questioning normative ways to live, to reach success, or to know who to love.

Lamya moves on from this intro scene, discussing her challenges of navigating the intense spaces of coming out to their parents, the immigration system in the U.S., and finding a queer sense of community. Yet Lamya says she overcame these hurdles once realizing that “everyone struggles with themselves and how they move in the world,” so she deems it important to understand that navigating through life is a personal journey, not a checklist you cross off based upon a particular “role model.”

Other challenges include how they had no experience in long-form or narrative writing. Rather, Lamya liked to write essays saying that: “In an essay, you're making arguments and everything you say goes towards the argument, but when you're writing a book there is more open space. So the book is organized around themes and jumps between so many places.” Hence, Lamya says she had to learn to trust that the reader will pick up on these things as opposed to the writer explaining every little detail as if it were a textbook they are writing.

HOW DO YOU THINK THE BOOK HAS BEEN RECEIVED?

Lamya recalls receiving countless messages from queers and queer muslims alike recounting how her memoir impacted their lives. “I've been so ecstatic and honored in the way the book has been received. The overwhelming sense of positivity has been so humbling, and so incredible.”

Similar to the positive remarks, Lamya wasn’t hesitant about the negative feedback she received. For instance, Lamya was surprised that some commenters disapproved of their calling God non-binary when God transcends gender, or that God goes beyond gender.

Besides this, Lamya shares her view of accepting her work. “One of the things that I didn't expect in terms of writing this book is the amount of empathy I've built for my former self.” Lamya continues by explaining that in her early twenties, she was doing the best she could and now she learns to never act a certain way ever again, saying “Creative freedom of expression and critique is important to me so this was an unexpected but beautiful outcome.”

ADVICE TO FUTURE WRITERS:

When asked about their advice to those who want to write their story but are afraid of judgment, Lamya says to “find a community of writers who are also interested in writing and supporting each other,” which has made a huge difference for her. For example, she retells how a female friend of hers writes 300 words a day no matter if she will use it or not. Lamya approves this as a great ritual to take on to get into the practice of writing. Moreover, Lamya says, “If you are afraid to write and tell your story it's probably because your story is incredibly powerful.”

In the end, Lamya reveals her forthcoming novel, “99 NAMES FOR GOD,” a memoir on the complexities and contradictions of parenting as a queer, nonbinary brown Muslim about the 99 names that represent God’s morals and characteristics.

For more literary updates and live events by Lamya H., including her forthcoming novel, visit her Instagram via: @lamyaisangry

Photography: @lamyaisangry